Battle: North High
by morbiusgreen
Summary: Inspired partially by the YouTube video "Insert Title Here' Official Trailer HD" and Battle: Los Angeles (it isn't the same aliens though). Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

North High. It's a decent school in terms of education. At least, I think so, but since when has my opinion mattered? It's pretty average in size as well. Not very important in the long run. A mere inkblot on the pages of history. However, there is an abnormality at this school for which no one can account.

Haruhi Suzumiya.

A god, the origins of a temporal quake, the chance for auto evolution, whatever she may be, to me, she was the reason for all my pain and suffering since the day she pulled me by the back of my collar that fateful day in class when she had that idea to make her stupid club.

What added to the weirdness were the other members that Haruhi "recruited" into her club, known as the Spreading Excitement all Over the World with Haruhi Suzumiya Brigade or S.O.S. Brigade. One was what some of us might call an alien, one was a time traveler from the future (where else?) and one was some type of esper.

That was two and a half years ago. Together, the other members of the Brigade and I have managed to overcome many challenges while still keeping Haruhi from discovering who and what she was.

I was walking through the hall after class, thinking about how fortunate we had been. I had faced life or death situations more than once these past two years and had always managed to escape nearly unscathed. I should be given some sort of hero's award or something for all that I have done to keep sane through all this insanity.

I approached the clubroom door and opened it without a second thought, still in my own little world. The screams of the cute third year student threw me out of my reverie. I just stood there, staring for a brief moment. I couldn't believe my eyes. Unlike other times when I had accidentally entered, she was completely naked, her huge breasts bouncing around like two humungous beach balls.

I quickly regained control of my motor functions and retreated into the hallway, slamming the door as I did so. My face was beet red, I could tell by the heat. I was just grateful Haruhi wasn't there to see. She would have had a conniption if she had seen me. I wonder how much school Koizumi would miss if she had that fit.

"Miss Asahina, I would appreciate it if you didn't mention this to Haruhi," I said sheepishly as she was serving tea not fifteen minutes later.

"Sure, no problem," Miss Asahina replied, smiling sweetly as she finished pouring my tea. A few moments later, Koizumi walked in, that cheap and fake smile plastered on his face. He walked up to his normal chair, sat down and proceeded to set up the Othello board. I stared out the window, getting re-lost in my own thoughts until Koizimi had completed setting up the board.

Our peaceful game didn't last more than five minutes before Haruhi burst into the room, a smile brimming on her face. She was carrying, of all things, five copies of the _Sky and Telescope_ magazine which she then proceeded to throw on the Othello board, thus prematurely ending our game. The title read "Comet C/2012 S1 Set To Be Brighter Than Anticipated."

"Uh, Haruhi? What is this?" I asked, looking at the pages, which were filled with astrophotography pictures and charts of the night sky and other astronomy related things.

"Our next field trip!" Haruhi exclaimed with the gleam in her eyes that I had gotten used to seeing whenever she got a crazy idea. "We're going to watch the comet every night as it brightens!"

_Stargazing? We had done something similar during those two weeks of vacation time that lasted for centuries, but Haruhi was asleep for that and she was looking for aliens. So why does she want to stargaze?_

"Because we never just get out and relax like this, Kyon!" she replied to my unspoken thoughts, her brow furled. "As the Brigade Leader, it is my duty to make sure that every once in a while we take a break from searching for the supernatural and just enjoy life!"

I looked over at Koizumi, but he just shrugged and smiled. Looking to the others provided little more information. Miss Asahina was just looking confused and Nagato was not paying attention.

"Uh, ok, so when is the comet at its brightest?" I asked, still trying to figure out what she really had in mind.

"In two weeks!" she answered, her smile quickly returning. "and we're starting tonight!" She nearly skipped over to her desk and began browsing the internet.

I gazed out the window as Koizumi picked up one of the magazines and started reading it. The weather had been nice enough for stargazing, despite being the middle of November. I then looked at the magazine. I'll admit, I was a little intrigued so I picked up a copy. To my surprise, Miss Asahina and Nagato walked over and picked up one as well and, after sitting on either side of me, began to read.

"This is a change for Haruhi," I finally said after a few minutes of silent reading. "Stargazing for the sake of just having fun?"

"It is a twist from the everyday norm we seem to go through," Koizumi replied, putting his magazine down. "We've also been noticing that there have been a steady decrease in the number of Closed Spaces recently. She seems to be entering a stabilization phase."

"That's good, isn't it?" I asked, not convinced by his tone that he thought it was.

He smiled wider. "It makes my job easier, if that's what you're concerned about."

You know that you're the least of my concerns, I thought.

"It's also good for Haruhi, at least, we think so," he continued. I sighed. That was good, at least. Maybe she would mellow out a tad and act a bit more normal. _Not that I want that. Whoa, did I just think that?_

I shrugged off the thought and continued reading the article on C/2012 S1. It was surprisingly interesting and somewhat understandable. More intrigued I flipped through the rest of the magazine and read everything I could. Finally Haruhi stood and began to prepare to leave.

"We'll all meet at Yuki's apartment at seven o'clock tonight. Don't be late, or it's the death penalty!" She smiled and ran out. I walked out after Koizumi and Nagato, leaving Miss Asahina to change.

I walked up to Nagato and fell into step with her. "Hey, Nagato, do you mind if I just head to your house with you now? It would be a waste of time to head home now, because I would only be there thirty minutes before I would have to leave again."

"It is no problem," she replied. "I wouldn't mind."

I smiled and thanked her. We walked in silence to her house after changing. A few hours passed in silence. Nagato made me some tea. It wasn't as good as Miss Asahina's, but it was good enough. I sat there and continued reading the magazine. This was all very interesting stuff. I was surprised by how much this interested me. as soon as I had finished reading everything in the magazine, Haruhi arrived. She looked at me in surprise.

"You're here first?!"

"Yea, I figured it was a waste of time going home then coming here."

"Oh, I see." Was that a flicker of jealousy I heard in her voice? A few minutes later, Miss Asahina arrived and a few minutes after that, Koizumi.

"Okay, we're all here!" Haruhi said a few minutes after Koizumi arrived. "We're going to head to Miss Tsuruya's family mansion. She said we could use some of their hills to watch the comet!"

Not half an hour later, we were lying on the grass, bundled up in blankets. Haruhi had said that, to preserve warmth, we would draw straws to see who would be bundled wiwth who, since Tsuruya insisted that she join us. Nagato and Koizumi were in one blanket, Tsuruya and Miss Asahina were in another. Somehow, the draw placed me and Haruhi in a blanket with each other, a prospect which made me very uncomfortable and turned on at the same time. For one, being that close to a girl was a dream come true, but, on the other hand, that girl was Haruhi.

"Now don't get any ideas, Kyon!" she ordered as we began to wrap up in the blanket. _No argument from me_, I thought as we lay on the grass and watched the comet begin setting in the west. After a while, I actually began to relax and enjoy watching the stargazing, even though we couldn't see very many stars due to the brightness of the comet. Still, it was pretty amazing.

"Oooo! Look over there!" Miss Asahina exclaimed as she pointed up. We all looked but saw nothing. I was about to ask what she saw when a brilliant fireball light up the sky where she had been pointing.

"Mikuru, how did you know where that would appear?" Haruhi asked.

"That's cl- I mean, I just guessed," she replied, blushing hard at almost revealing herself. We went back to stargazing.

After a while, I felt something cool touching my hand. I froze. At first I thought it was a bug, but then I realized that it was Haruhi's hand touching mine. I don't think it was an accident either. She seemed to know what she was doing. This was an unexpected move for her, it wasn't aggressive at all. The touch was gentle, almost nervous. I could feel her shaking a bit. Cold, or nervousness, I couldn't tell.

Suddenly I sat up, but it wasn't because of Haruhi. I had heard something in the air. A whisper. It sounded like my name.

"What is it Kyon?" Miss Asahina asked.

I listened for a few seconds more. "It's nothing. I thought I heard something." I lay back down, but Haruhi's hand was gone. I had apparently scared her off.

After a few hours we packed up and headed home. Something lead me to walk up to Haruhi after the rest of them had gone home.

"Heading home?" I asked.

"Where else would I go?" she retorted, sounding like she was in a bad mood.

"Can I walk you home?" the words spilled out of my mouth before I had a chance to think. She looked at me in an odd way.

"You've never offered before." she said, looking thoroughly confused.

I smiled. "You never seemed like you wanted me to."

"Well, as a subordinate, it is your duty to ensure the safety of your chief. Very well, you may escort me home."

I smiled. Only Haruhi would make a gesture of friendship into something Brigade related.

The walk to her home was mostly silent. I watched as she entered her house, making sure she actually got in. Then she did something unexpected, even for Haruhi. She looked back and smiled. It wasn't her usual type of smile though. It was a gentle, caring smile. I smiled back, then watched as the door closed.

_This has been one unusual day_, I thought. _I hope it doesn't get any weirder._

From my lips to Haruhi's ears… if only…

* * *

**Inspired by this video: watch?v=Ozc_zHWo9jk and no it won't have Invader Zim in it. Sorry.**

**morbiusgreen**


	2. Chapter 2

Another day, another dreary walk up the hill. Only this time, the weather wasn't dreary at all. In fact, it was unseasonably warm for this late in the year. The only explanation? Haruhi. It had to be. She must be in an exceptionally good mood today.

My hypothesis became theory when I walked into the classroom. I saw Haruhi with one of the biggest smiles I had ever seen her. What was more surprising was that she had her hair in a ponytail.

"Last night was fun!" she said, bounding up to me excitedly. As if on cue, everyone swiveled in their seats to look at me and Haruhi. _You've got it all wrong_, I thought.

"Don't forget to head over to Yuki's house after school! We're going to do it again tonight!" Haruhi seemed oblivious to everyone else in the room, whose eyes were focused on us now, eyes wide and jaws dropped. _It's not what it look like, I swear!_

"So, you and Miss Suzumiya are finally getting it on," Taniguchi said with a knowing look in his eye when lunch rolled around.

"Can it, Taniguchi," I replied, "Nothing happened between us. The club went stargazing last night, is all."

"Uh huh, right," the annoying young man said and went on eating.

After I finished lunch I decided to walk down the hall. I was so lost in thought that I didn't notice Haruhi walking towards me. We collided hard and fell backwards.

"Haruhi, are you ok?" I asked as I helped her up. She replied by pushing me back.

"Death Penalty for pushing down your Brigade leader!" she shouted at me.

"Fair enough," I said.

"But I'm sorry for bumping into you," she continued. _Haruhi? APOLOGIZING?_ Something was very, very wrong with the world.

"N-no problem," I stammered out. I leaned on the rail near the window and looked outside. It was still a beautiful day.

"It's a nice day isn't it?" Haruhi said out of the blue. I nearly jumped. I thought she had left.

"Yes it is," I replied. She was acting very strangely. Nervous, I would say. She was almost acting…like a girl.

"Haruhi-" I began, but I was cut off by a noise coming from outside. It was a whisper, like last time. I turned and looked out.

"What is it, Kyon?" Haruhi asked, trying to see what I was looking for.

"I don't-" then I saw it. In the sky. What looked like a huge fireball was descending. Rather, it was getting bigger. It seemed to be heading straight toward us.

Without even stopping to think, I grabbed Haruhi and pulled her away. I just kept running and reached another part of the school just as whatever it was hit at the corner of the building where we were just standing. It shuddered violently but didn't collapse. I was in shock as I watched. I was also sweating. If I hadn't heard that voice…we may have died…

"Kyon! What it is?" Haruhi rushed to the window, looking out. A big cloud of dust swirled around the impact site of…whatever it was. "A meteorite?! Aliens!?" _Oh please, don't let it be aliens_.

I regained my voice and my composure quickly. "It's probably just a meteorite," I replied. _I hope_. By this time a group of students were cautiously approaching.

"Oh no they don't!" Haruhi exclaimed as she ran down the hall. "Come on, Kyon! We're gonna claim that meteorite for the Brigade!"

I sighed and ran after her. Soon we were pushing through the mass of students and sliding down the crater to see what it was. Surprisingly, no one tried to stop us. I followed Haruhi down, getting myself dirty in the process. She was busy looking over the meteorite. It was about as tall as her, and just as wide. Mostly spherical with pock marks in it from its descent into our atmosphere, I assumed. From the looks of it, it looked natural enough. We were soon joined by the other members.

"It is a standard meteorite," Nagato said when she was out of earshot of Haruhi, "composed of approximately 80 percent silicon-based minerals, 20 percent nickel-iron alloy, and trace amounts of iron sulfide."

I sighed in relief. At least there wasn't about to be an alien invasion. If that happened, Haruhi would have a field day.

"Kyon! Come here!" I sighed and walked over to the eccentric teen. She was staring at one of the pock marks intently. She moved away and pointed at it, a strange look in her eyes.

"What is that?" she asked.

I sighed and looked. What I saw couldn't be described.

The pock mark didn't end. Instead, it seemed to open up like some sort of portal. I peered into it. It was about the size of a manhole.

"That wasn't here before," Haruhi said, her voice trembling. I had heard that tone before, when we were in the Closed Space together. The colors of the portal thingy were orange, purple, yellow, with some hints of red. It looked like what science fiction movies would describe as a wormhole.

The others were standing right beside me on moments. I moved aside for our resident nerd, Nagato, to get a closer look. She stared at it for a few seconds, and then turned, a look of confusion on her face, although I was probably the only one to see it.

Now I was really scared. _If Nagato doesn't know what it was, then we may all be in danger._

"I suggest we move as far away from this meteorite as possible," Koizumi finally spoke up, a rare serious look on his face. I nodded and began moving away, only it was rather difficult with Miss Asahina clutching to my lets and with Haruhi holding on to my shirt.

As I was climbing out, the ground beneath me gave way and I fell back down. "Kyon!" Haruhi and Miss Asahina both shouted at the same time as I fell back. Haruhi leapt back down to get me.

I sat up, blushing a bit, despite the situation. "I'm fine, just tripped is-" Something hit me very hard directly in my forehead and fell straight into my lap. I rubbed my head, wincing.

"Are you all right, Kyon?" Haruhi asked, genuine concern in her voice. I didn't answer. Instead, I looked down in my lap to see what had hit me.

It was some sort of weapon. Haruhi made the first move to grab it, but some type of electic bolt struck her hand when she was within a few inches of it.

"OW!" she exclaimed, putting the offending finger in her mouth. Curious, I reached down and picked it up with no problem. I examined its alien quality and sleek design. It was very light, but it seemed like a formidable weapon.

"The aperture is changing," I heard Nagato say calmly. I turned to the portal thing in the meteorite, and sure enough, something was beginning to happen.

"Time to go," I heard that same whisper in my ears. I stood fast, ignoring the dizziness in my head and scrambled out of that pit in record time, dragging Haruhi with a strength I never knew I had.

"What's gotten into you Kyon?" Haruhi asked after I finished dragging her out.

I looked her square in the eye, and said, without emotion, "Run." I then turned and ran as fast as I could back into the building. I don't know why, but I figured that the Literature room was the safest place at the moment.

I burst into the room and lightning speed, sweat drenching my shirt despite the coolness of the room. Haruhi and the rest followed suite soon after. Everyone except Nagato was sweating and panting.

"Kyon, what's wrong with you?" Haruhi asked, that hint of genuine concern still there.

The meteorite was still in view, and I was staring intently out at it. "I don't know," I said. I then looked at the weapon I was still holding. Suddenly something strange began to happen. It began to morph and change until it became an armband. It locked itself in place with a whirr and buzz. That was strange.

"Kyon, what is that?" Haruhi asked, coming closer to examine it. She moved her hand gingerly toward it, this time not getting shocked. Then her mouth widened into one of her typical grins.

"Alien technology!" she exclaimed. _Crap…_ "Are you an alien, Kyon, sent by some higher power to watch me?" _No, but someone else in this room is._

"No, Haruhi, I'm not an alien," I replied, looking at the device on my wrist. I looked out the window again, but nothing else had happened. The student body had formed a crowd all around the meteorite. I could hear sirens approaching from the inner city. I suddenly became very very tired and collapsed. The last words I heard were Haruhi screaming my name in a scared voice.

_What in the world is happening…?_

* * *

**Also got inspired by Cowboy's Vs Aliens. Enjoy! Sorry if it seems too rushed.**

**morbiusgreen**


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